I can’t stand bein’ handled
I’ve exhausted each excuse I’ve even stooped to fakin’ it
But tell me what’s the use You’re tryin’ hard to shame me
‘Cause you wanna make me stay But all it does is bring to mind What Mama used to say
If it don’t fit, don’t force itJust relax and let it go
Just ’cause that’s how you want it Doesn’t mean it will be so
I know there’ll be no changin’We’ve been through all that before
I’m all worn out from talkin’And now I’m a-headin’ for the door
by Kellee Patterson
The words of this song are reverberating in my mind. Okay, I know it is not from the Christian genre, but I think of how Jesus used simple parables and things from the period he walked in, to make clear his teachings. The word of God clearly states that God, “hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty;” 1 Corinthians 1:27.
It was not immediately obvious to me why that particular song found its way into my mind but then I remembered a phone call a couple of weeks ago from a dear friend. My friend was in tears and completely broken.
I spent years listening to this friend being belittled; watching small pieces of this friend’s essence systematically diminished. I watched, listened and prayed with and for her, over the years, as small pieces were chiseled away. The easy smile and gentle laughter had slowly died out. I no longer saw the joy that once shined in my friends eyes.
“Can’t you do anything right?” “Just go somewhere and do something else?” “Why are you still here?” These are just a few of the comments (the milder ones) made in the presence of family and friends; until there was not much left of the friend I once knew.
It’s common for people to stay in unhealthy relationships for what they may consider the “better good”. It is with this in mind that I reflect on Jesus’ love for his disciples and his love for us. His love was an example to us of true, unconditional love. His was a love of action. He would heal those that were sick and hurting, “he had compassion on them and healed their sick” (Matthew 14:14). He loved and prayed for those that trusted and followed him, “I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you” (John 17:20-21). He gave his all, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life” John 3:16 .
No matter the relationship that you are in, if you are made to feel less than the beautiful and wonderful creation that you are, if you are trying to make something work that is clearly not working, if you are hanging on to that which destroys your spirit and changes you from who you were created to be; it may very well be time to let it go. The word of God says we were “fearfully and wonderfully made”. We were created for a purpose. No one gets to change that purpose.
Jesus never belittled or treated his disciples with anything less than love and respect. Jesus had such love and humility for those he loved and had care over, that he would go so far as to wash their feet! After that he poureth water into a bason, and began to wash the disciples’ feet, and to wipe them with the towel wherewith he was girded. John 13:5 (KJV). God has clearly revealed in his word “Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee.” Jeremiah 31:3.
Are you desperately clinging to something that is not working for your good? Are you trying to fit that square peg into that round hole? Is that comfortable place not comfortable? Maybe it is uncomfortable for a reason.
Some things we think of as failure because we gave up on them may actually be our greatest triumph.
Whatever the relationship; if you are not treated with love and respect, if you are feeling anything other than the goodness you deserve; it may be time to “just relax and let it go”.
If you are constantly asking yourself, “why is it so hard?” Remember that it does not have to be. Jesus gave his life that we should have life and life more abundantly. He has assured us, “my yoke is easy, and my burden is light’. So why do we keep trying to make salvation hard? Jesus has taken care of the hard part, “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
In those broken places, you will find your greatest opportunity for growth in your walk with Christ. Allow him to draw you closer to him as he heals every broken place. It is in your broken places, in your weak places, that his power is manifest. A bruised reed shall he not break, and the smoking flax shall he not quench Isaiah 42:3(KJV)
Holy God, blessed Savior, Help us to recognize who we are in you. Allow us to see our true worth and the value we have in you. Help us to let go of the things that are not for our good, the things that that threaten to change who you created us to be. Allow us to recognize that nothing shall separate us from your perfect love. Amen and amen